Map key for Ensley Keep

Here is the map key for the keep. I will try to locate a post the actual map next.

 

Ensley Keep

            Ensley Keep lies on the east shore of the Arrowmere, on a small piece of land that juts northward out into the lake.  The shore here is rocky, and Ensley Keep is atop a low stony ledge right next to the lake, 20 feet above the water.

            The keep was originally occupied by Corran Enley for almost 20 years before he died when the keep was attacked by alienist enemies.  The keep has now stood empty for 35 years.

            Ensley Keep is surrounded by elm and sycamore trees.  The walls are covered in vines, and there is actually grass and small bushes growing atop the walls.

Level I

Level I is generally 20’ tall, with high arched rooms and wooden beams in the ceilings.  The construction is skilled and solid, and most of the wood is still in decent shape, though neglect has weakened it enough that a lot of violence to the structure may cause minor collapses.

1.      This heavy iron gate is still locked shut, and the locking mechanism is so badly rusted that trying to pick it is obviously a waste of time. The doorless entrance to the keep is 40 feet beyond. Trees and brush grow heavy in the courtyard.

2.      The overgrown courtyard, with some fairly large trees.

3.      Former Smithy.  It was 10’ tall.  The wooden door is rotten and half-open, the shutters on the window hang open, the wooden roof has fallen in.  Inside is a jumble of vines, rotten wood, and rubble.  Anyone in the W half of the bailey will notice a sweet floral scent. This comes from the yellow musk creeper that grows in the SE corner of the smithy.  Additionally, anyone making noise at all in the courtyard will bring fourth the three yellow musk zombies (former bugbears and goblins), who will charge.

Yellow Musk Zombies:

Bugbear HP 17                       a.c. 16 (leather, shield, natural)

Bugbear HP 15                 both morningstar +2, damage 1d8+2, move 30

Goblin  HP 11                         morningstar 1d8-1 (ac 14, size, studded leather)

The creeper will attach anyone within 10 feet with a pollen puff (+4 melee). It has 15 hp and an AC of 15.

Around the base of the creeper, among bones, is a rotted leather pouch with 1,100 copper pieces, a masterwork heavy flail, a dwarven urgosh, and two flasks of alchemist’s fire, labeled in common. There are also two red-brown carnelian stones worth 50 gp each.

All of these items are entangled in the rubble on the floor.  A Search roll of 16 each round will find one item, and 20 will find them all.

4.      Here, the wall of the keep has been smashed in, and the stony rubble is full of vines and grass.  Wafting up from the entrance is the faint, sweet smell of a yellow musk creeper.

Anyone within 50 feet of this opening will be attacked by 4 yellow musk zombies:

Human:     HP 11  AC 13 (studded), dmg 1d8 (longsword)

     Goblins       HP 10  Ac 14 (size, studded) damg 1d8-1 (morningstars)

                        HP 10

                        HP 10

The yellow musk creeper here has 15 hp and an AC of 15.

At its base is the skeleton of a human in rusted chain, a moldy backpack with 346 gp, a set of thieve’s tools, and two bottles of wine, sealed.

5.      The Great Hall. The middle of the hall is full of fallen stone and timber from the collapsed wall, and the opposite door has been knocked in.

There is a huge fireplace flanked by pillars leading up to arches, and carved into the pillars and across from the mantle are scenes of fish, mermen and mermaids, octopi, and sailing ships.

6.      The Kitchen.  The door leading here is missing. There is an old oven, and smashed crockery and rusted pans on the floor. Giant rats will flee through a hole in the wall to area 7.  6 dire rats:  HP 5 each, AC 15, bite +4 melee, damage 1d4, special attack disease (save fort DC 12)

7.      The door here is stuck shut.  Inside mold grows in old jars and on the shelves. This looks like a place where flour, grain, oils, etc. were stored.

8.      The large wooden table has collapsed, and been gnawed up by rats. Broken chairs lay around.

9.      There are some bones and a broken shield on the floor.  The bones are not human, and look like they belonged to something large. The stairway leading up it made of stone.  In a cubbyhole below the stairs is a wooden pale.

10.  The N door is stuck, but will fall off the hinges on an open doors DC roll of 12.

Inside the room is a moldy heap of rotten, scorched cloth and wood (the old remains of a sofa) and several broken chairs.  The shredded remains of a tapestry hand from the W. wall, the image unrecognizeable. Most of the cloth is gone.

The fireplace has old ashes and and iron log holder, and mantle is carved limestone depicting life-sized, snarling and howling wolf heads.

      The wolf heads are beautifully sculpted, though most are chipped and damaged. In the southmost wolf’s mouth is a hidden compartment: and illusionary wall has been created in the back of the mouth, concealing a 6”x6” x10”deep recess with a small silver key.

      This opening is trapped: a search roll of 20 will reveal it. Otherwise, someone sticking their hand in the back of the wolf’s mouth without using his other hand to depress one of the canines will be struck by a spring-loaded blade that does 1d4 points of damage (it used to have poison on it, but it has long since worn away.) Immediately, an illusion will come into effect—all the wolf heads will snarl and howl and snap for 1 round. Disarm DC roll for trap: 20

      The handle of the key is fashioned in the shape of a leaping wolf.

      The S. door is missing.

11.  Broken pieces of wood and shreds of cloth that are the remains of beds, chairs, stools, tables, and beds.

12.  Against the wall are three broken barrels with oily residue, and stacked in front of them is a bunch of cut wood, as well as old rotten furniture bits. These were put here a year ago by the expedition from Memgaria. Anyone disturbing the pile will bring out four dire rats (HP 5 each, AC 15, bite +4 melee, damage 1d4, special attack disease [save fort DC 12])

13.  The entrance to the gatehouse is nearly hidden hidden in ivy and creepers. Bats roost in the rafters.

14.  The door into the tower opens under the stone stairs leading upward to level II. A 6’ wide stone pillar supports the stone ceiling, and there are no other doors or entrances.

This room was used as an armory, and there are still numerous pegs and racks hanging on the walls.  In the dust on the floor are arrowheads (rusted), a few broken blades, and a dented helmet.

Level II

15.  The staircase from the first level comes through the floor.  A rickety, rotten wooden staircase, enclosed by wood, ascends from the center of the room to a stone trap door.

Arrow slits with rusted iron shutters line the wall. The door to 16 is shut.

16.  Hall, passage

1. In this room are remains of a cot and a smashed chest, both covered in brown mold. The mold is harmless.  At point a., there is a small keyhole hidden in a recess at ankle level, hidden by an illusionary wall. (DC 25 to find.) The wolf-key from room 10 fits here, and turning it will open the secret panel at b.
2. The secret door here is 4’x4’ and opens in the center of the wall, 3’off the floor.  Inside is a 5’x5’ shaft leading downward, with iron rungs. A reddish light comes up from below.  (see the text at the end: Treasure Vault)

17.  A stone staircase leads to a trap door in the roof.  The E side of this room has fallen to the floor below, so that people here can see into the Great Hall (area 5). Most of the floor is unstable; anyone walking on the area within the dotted  the dotted line will cause the stones to give way on a roll of 2 in 20, +1 per every ten pounds they weigh over 100. A reflex save of 20 will allow them to jump clear.

If someone falls through the floor, they will take 2d6 points of damage.

Roll to see if they fall through each round they are in the hazard zone.

18.  Short Hall.  A dead giant rat, drained of blood to huskness, is on the floor.

19.  A wobbly but still-intact table of dark wood stands in the center of the room, and several intact chairs are here.  The fireplace in the corner has a limestone mantle carved with ivy, and resting upon it are several empty bottles and mugs.

The bones of a severed hand are under the table. This hand belonged to the farmer who was captured and tortured by the Memgarians.

In the fireplace are charred scraps, including the charred edge of a map, showing what appears to by some tunnel maps and the word “Venswort”.

20. At one time this was a large bedroom, but now there is a carpet of mildew dotted with white stirge droppings.  The stirges here sleep in a bunch on the ceiling, near the fireplace.

            Stirges x 4, 5 HP each, Init +4, Speed 10/40, AC 16, Damage 1 + Con drain. When they latch on a touch attack, they drain 1d4 points of Con each round until they get to 4 points, then fly away to digest. When attached, they have an AC 0f 12.

20 a. bones of human.

20 b. Moldy robes hand from pegs, and behind them is a quiver with 9 masterwork arrows.

21.  Doors stuck shut (DC 20 to open). This room is fairly clean and has a stone shelf on the N wall, and 2 barrels of stagnant water.

22.  Top of this wall, about 20 feet tall, has numerous plants growing on it.  The walls are crenelated. The inside of the wall has an iron railing that is untrustworthy.

23.  This “porch” area is surrounded by the same crennelations as the wall, and a large portion of it has collapsed.

Level III

On this level, the roof is about 35 feet up.  The floor is flagstone, and fairly sturdy. Waterspouts carved are placed in the corners.

24.  The roof of the tower is actually about 40’ up, and there is a gfeat view of the lake and Ravencall.

25.  5’ high stone wall surrounds this area, capped by a very dilapeitdated clay shingle roof, full of holes.  Three support beams run the lengths, and 200 swallows make their homes here.

Level D: Dungeon

26. The stairway from 8 leads down to circular room 29. Ignore the map for now.

29. A spring feeds into the Arrowmere below the keep, and the pool here is about 20’ across and 8’ deep, and quite cold. The bottom is rocky and gravely. Nothing of value lies here.

30. The door to this room  is stuck (DC 12). Beyond are wooden shelves and broken glass, and the smell of stale alcohol (beer and wine) is fairly strong. The wood of the shelves is gnawed, and there are rat droppings.

The Vault: Area 31

A “permanent image” spell is cast on this area. There is a shaft leading down from the secret door on level II with iron handholds in the wall, and the shaft itself is about 5’ wide.

            The room below is illuminated by a red light, the result of wooden torch that has a “continual flame” spell placed on it, and which has been covered by a heavy red glass glove, on the wall of the room below.

            The moment someone starts to descend the ladder, there will be a low, drawn out growl below, thanks to a “magic mouth” spell devised to frighten intruders.  The room looks to be completely flooded, with only about a foot between the ceiling and the water (making this totally illusory water seem to be 8’ deep.) The red light shimmers in this murky water.

            The room is, in fact, completely dry.

            There are five wooden chests against the wall. Three are open and empty; the two east-most chests, under the sconce, are closed and locked.

            a. Moving or trying to open this chest will cause a three spring-released spears to fire from the west wall (CR 2; +12 ranged; 1d8 x 3 crit; Search DC 20, Disable Device DC 20.) Anyone in the 10’ area of the north side of the room may be struck. Inside this chest is:

n  a very fine looking long-sword in a leather scabbard, with a note fastened to the pommel with wax. Anyone looking at the note will see the word “Surprise” in common, and will trigger a sepia snake sigil.  (DC 14 reflex save negates.) Victims are held suspended for 1d4+1 days. The sword is Flame Tongue: upon will, the sword ignites, and will do +1d6 points of damage per strike due to fire. It is +1 normally. On a critical hit, the weapon does +1d10 points of fire damage in a flaming burst. There are rubies set in the hilt, and the steel has a reddish tinge. Inscribed in the blade are the words, in Draconic, Defegnyil Nordem ves Endropem Pittis “Defend All From Darkest Chaos.”

n  Two leather bags with 100 gp each

3. Inside this chest is:

n  a scroll case with two scrolls: “Shield” at first level , and “levitate” at fourth level.

n  A leather pouch with ten pieces of obsidian, each worth 10 g.p.

n  A larger leather bag containing 300 c.p.

Longsword +4, grants protection from fire,

Goblins:

HP 4 each

Initiative +4, speed 30, AC 15, attacks: morningstar +1, javelin +3 ranged

Damage: morningstar 1d8-1, javelin 1d6-1

Feat: alertness

Have 2d6 cp each and 1d8-4 s.p. each

First notes on Ensley Keep and Rookvale

Here are the first notes regarding Ensley Keep, part of Lord Gray's holdings, but in an area under the influence of the scheming Duke Bucknell.

The party was asked by Lord Gray to explore Ensley Keep, which has been abandoned for decades. They fought goblins, a yellow musk creeper, and an ogre.  The fight with the ogre was at the ford on the River Ibiar, and resulted in the deaths of two party members.

Background info: Lord Gray and Crimsia, the Blood Queen

The Story of Rubylla and Argenthos

            Argenthos, a huge silver dragon, sat on the Council of Wyrms, as had his forebears.  Rubylla, an audacious younger dragon of red hue, plotted with her brother to unseat him and take his position.  But their plots went awry, and Argenthos and his allies attacked them.  Rubylla’s brother was killed, and Rubylla fled.  She was banished.

            Argenthos had to spend a huge amount of time and wealth regaining his position, and finally had to set out after Rubylla. He had to destroy her to restore his honor. Forty years after Rubylla fled to the East, Argenthos set out to find her.

            Rubylla hid in the North Sea area. She frequently posed as Crimsia, an elf pirate. She had a large lair-cave in the mountains of Thoss.  Making sure her lair was well guarded, she often set out with the crew of a pirate ship and went on raids.  It was a fine way for her to gather information from the many weaker creatures that inhabited the world around her, and she enjoyed the plundering.  More than a few times she was able to sniff out would-be dragon-slayers long before they came near her lair, and kill them.

            Crimsia became well-known for her incredible battle skills and cunning. She usually traveled with a band of pirates known as the Black Sharks.  She killed their captain, Tevor, when she first met him, and took control of the group.  Her charisma helped bind the crew to her, and she made the former First Mate, Eel, her captain-in-absentia whenever she was away.

            (70 years ago) For ten years the Black Sharks were the terror of the seas, and were feared inland as well as on the water.  They raided villages and captured ships, then disappeared to raid again hundreds of miles away.

            Rubylla also raided in dragon form, and with great prudence.  When she hunted or plundered, she typically did so far from her lair.

            The Black Sharks had many hideouts, and one of their favorites was a sea cave on one of the smallest Midfy Islands.

            (60 years ago) One afternoon 60 years ago, the Black Sharks arrived at their sea cave with booty and prisoners. They had just waylaid a Kentarian merchant ship. Unknown to them, one of their prisoners was Argenthos. Argenthos had taken to disguising himself as Atrachor, a human aristocrat. He knew the pirates would attack his ship and counted on being taken prisoner for ransom.  He made himself appear quite wealthy and quite foppish.

            The pirates struck, and struck hard. They killed four of the ship’s crew, incapacitated many, and disabled the ship.  The Black Sharks unloaded the shipment of ivory and fine wood, and took two prisoners; Atrachor and a traveling elven mage named Uliandar.

*****

            There was a powerful wizard named Inarz who knew the location of the Black Sharks’ lair, and he was probably the only person on the face of Therra who had deduced the Crimsia was actually a dragon. Over the previous years, Inarz had created the Staff of the Dragon from shards of a Dragon Orb he had found in some ruins.  Inarz waited in the sea cave that day, prepared to use the Staff to drain the essence from Crimsia, thereby fully charging the staff and giving him the might to easily defeat any others who opposed him there.

            Unfortunately for Inarz, he did not know there would be two dragons present in the sea cave lair.  The staff was designed to drain the essence from one dragon only; having two dragons in the area of effect would have unforeseen results.

            After the pirates arrived in their lair and started unloading at the dock, Crimsia escorted the two prisoners to cells and locked them in; it was here that she was surprised by Inarz.

            A short incantation was uttered, there was a ghostly blue flash, and in a split second, Crimsia and Atrachor were flat on their backs, unconscious. Inarz suddenly found the staff surprisingly overloaded as he tried to assess what had happened and fight off the rest of the pirates.

            The Staff of the Dragon, overloaded with the essence of two dragons, slew many of the pirates before Inarz himself was slain in a terrible magic backlash. The remaining pirates grabbed the staff, treasure, and Crimsia, and then fled the scene.

            Crimsia was amnesiac and weakened, but Eel defended her. Besides seeing her as a profitable leader, he was in love with her.

            Over the ensuing 60 years, Crimsia grew more and more powerful among the pirates.  She is now known as the Pirate Queen, and has a fortress in the Midfy Islands.  Her closest assistant is Zara the Spook, a middle-aged human woman who is nearly as ruthless as Crimsia herself. Crimsia rules through intimidation and fear. Few people know her as Crimsia; most refer to her as either The Pirate Queen or The Blood Queen.  The latter name she received due to her rumored penchant for bathing in the blood of her victims, and her fondness for dressing in red.

            There are many pirates vying for power in the North Sea, but Crimsia and her Blood Pirates are the strongest.

            After the fight between Inarz and the pirates, Uliandar’s cell was damaged. He managed to free himself with a little work and found Atrachor in his cell, delirious and unable to speak anything but the simplest sentences.  He could not tell Uliandar his name or homeland, though he seemed to speak all languages that Uliandar knew.

            After a while, this stranger regained his awareness of what was going on around him, and seemed very bright, except he had no memory of his past.

            After searching the area, the two found a small sailing boat and, with Uliandar’s small knowledge of sailing, headed southwest in the hopes of reaching Caldos.  Luck was with them, and they came ashore near a small village and received help.  Uliandar called the stranger “Gray”, because of the gray robe he wore and the matching gray streaks at his temples.  Together they made their way to Arlay, where Gray took on a job working at the docks.  The two parted ways.

            Gray became known for both his intellect and his sword arm.  He was well-liked, and became first a member of the watch (58 years ago), then captain of the watch two years later (56 years ago). Four years later he became a member of the Royal Guard, and eight years after that he was Captain of the Royal Guard.

            King Muran Toth counted Captain Gray among his closest advisors.  In fact, Gray had a deep influence on the king, and the whole kingdom of Caldos.  Muran Toth had long been a strongarm ruler, as had his father and his father’s father.  In such a way had the aristocracy controlled the populace for hundreds of years.  There was a middle class, and the subjects were heavily taxed.  There was no consistent legal system, and nobles frequently and unjustly jailed or executed people on trumped-up charges.  There often were riots and small revolts, put down by force.

            Over many years, Captain Gray convinced his king to change his ways. Taxation was eased, and commercial enterprise was encouraged.  The powers of the nobility were diminished, and for the first time most members of the ruling class were forced to compete, on an equal footing, with the rest of the people of Caldos in commerce and industry.

            The nobility did not accept these changes passively.  On numerous occasions, King Muran’s Royal Guard and allied nobles had to put down rebellious aristocrats through force of arms.  The most significant of these events, the Battle of Greendale, ended with a sound defeat of Muran’s opponents.  A dozen opposing dukes were dead, and a dozen more had their titles stripped and were imprisoned.  Thousands of people were killed in the two days of fighting, much of which took place in the streets of Greendale itself. (32 years ago)

                Four years ago, King Muran died, and the throne passed to his daughter, Elessa. King Muran’s wife, Queen Elessandra, had died in 465 H.C.

            Queen Elessa Toth, in power for four years now, makes up with intelligence what she lacks in experience. She is fortunate to still have Captain Gray at her side as advisor.

            One could say that Captain Gray, now Lord Gray, looks his age, except for the fact that no one knows how old he is.  He’s resided in Arlay for about 60 years, and he looks to be in his nineties.  But he is very alert, very agile, and in good health.  He takes very long naps and hates to have them disturbed. He is excellent with his sword, perhaps the best swordsman in Caldos.   Not much gets by him.

            Captain Gray has never figured out what happened to the first part of his life, though it still troubles him.  He knows he was knocked unconscious, somehow, by magic involving a silver staff with an elaborate dragon head.  He knows that he was kidnapped by pirates, and that he had been a merchant.

            Any information he hears about a silver dragon-headed staff will definitely interest him, and he will seek as much information as he can about it.

            After that battle with Inarz and his Staff of the Dragon, the pirates had the staff.  But before they had a chance to research it, it was lost.  A rival band of pirates, taking advantage of their weakened state, attacked them.  Several of their crew were killed, and the staff was captured.  It thereafter changed hands through pirate treachery for a decade, finally arriving (50 years ago) in the hands of a band of adventurers from Ullum.  The wizard Mithrine used it successfully on several occasions to great effect, but only as a last resort due to its inherent dangers.

            Mithrine was good friends with the monks who inhabited the Monastery of the Winter Moon.  She frequently stayed there, and she trained as a monk herself.  One autumn evening 42 years ago, the orcs of the Skullcrusher tribe attacked the monastery.  They attacked by surprise with a force of ogres and strong magical support, seeking to eliminate all outsiders and solidify their hold on the region. (Their main interests were seizing the two small human-run mines nearby, and controlling the single small road that ran through the area.)

            Mithrine died trying to escape.  Knowing her death was a strong possibility, she hid the Staff of the Dragon in the monastery’s secret vault.

            Most of the monks died in the fighting.  A few young monks escaped thanks to the sacrifices of their elders.

Background info: Caldos Encyclopedia listing: The Searing

 

The Searing

            Seven-hundred sixty years ago, the Omkessari Empire found a way to enslave the dragons. Six-hundred years ago, the dragons became free of their servitude.  They immediately turned on their masters, and in one burning day the palaces and towers of Omkessar were smoking ruins.  They royal lines of Omkessar were stamped out, and the dragons carried their wrath to all the peoples of the northern lands, laying waste to cities, towns, and villages from Thanos to Qatar, from Haran-Gul to Ylestir.  For weeks the skies of Therra were dark with smoke and the countryside was swept by flames.  In the end, the dragons looted or destroyed the glories of Omkessar. Many dragons lingered for years, hunting survivors in the ruins and forests: In the words of the bard Taskew, "In one day we all were beaten, thence were cooked, thence were eaten."  Eventually, after some years, most dragons returned to Naranthor. Some remained, however, sitting on heaps of treasure that had once been their masters'.

            The destruction was so complete that most of the knowledge and artifacts of Omkessar were lost to the world during this event, which is called The Searing.  This loss of knowledge has made the age of Omkessar mysterious.

The second adventure

 More scans of notebook pages.  This was back when I spent less time on the computer and more time just writing stuff down with a pen. I tried to make the scans as legible as possible, but, well, my handwriting is my handwriting.

In this adventure, the party was hired by a merchant to retrieve a valuable book that was stolen.  They traveled across the harbor to Fairdock, a wretched hive of scum and villainy situated on the harbor at the edge of the ruins of Korring.

They retrieved the book; I have a dim recollection of Uland and Darg questioning the thief, Murgan, while the rest of the party was absent. Afterwards, they cut his throat and dropped him in the harbor.

I also recall the after they retrieved the book, they were waiting on the boat to leave, and there were some tense moments as Gindal and his pirate crew tried to maneuver close enough to launch and attack on them to get the book for themselves. However, the PCs were too alert and the pirates never felt like they had the strength (or a moment of surprise) to take them on, and the situation resolved itself without a fight as the pirates withdrew.

Edited to add:

I also found this in my notebook. Trying to translate notes from 12 years ago: Murgan was dropped into negative hit points by subdual damage.  Maximillian either cast a sleep spell on someone, or fell victim to someone else’s sleep spell. Darg and Uland murdered Murgan and dumped his body behind the inn. Arnath and his cronies, who had initiatives of 6 and 7 respectively, left by the inn’s back door at some point.  Also, something happened during 3^rd watch—probably the pirates’ attempt to approach and attack.

The Caldos Campaign is Dead. Long Live the Caldos Campaign!

Now that my game has officially bit the dust, I will attempt to put up game material in chronological order.

Here are scans from the first adventure, dating from 2001.  It was adventurers vs. giant spider in the village of Lowfield.  My handwriting is not great.

I cannot find my map of the village.  If it turns up, I will add it to the post.

Oskadian's Last Jest

another entry from the Caldos Encyclopedia

Several hundred years ago, in the city of Kabrinnia in northern Letarra, there lived a great bard named Oskadian. Talented in many areas, he was especially well-known as a teller of humorous stories and jokes. Clever and hilarious though he was, he was extremely miserable himself; his beloved family had died over the course of just a few years, and he was heartbroken. Though a master jokester capable of making anyone else laugh, he could never laugh himself. For a long time he worked on finding the essence of humor; he set out to find a single joke that could brighten his day.  He made sacrifices to the gods, researched ancient lore, and then one night it came to him: The funniest joke ever.

            Giggling uncontrollably and gasping for air, he staggered down from his room in the small palace of his princely patron. Many awoke from the commotion, and gathered around. Oskadian motioned for the prince to start writing as, between painful guffaws, he dictated the joke:

One cold night a tavern keeper looks up to see three dwarves walk in his front door, each carrying a chicken. The first dwarf takes off his cloak, sets down his hen, and orders the finest dwarven stout in the house. Once served, he sits back and lets the chicken drink all the stout.

The second dwarf orders cheese, warm bread, and elven wine for his chicken. Surprised, the tavern keeper watches as the second dwarf’s bird consumes all that was ordered.

The third dwarf steps up to the tavern keeper and orders two bottles of ale and a slice of pie. The bartender says, “Look, the ale I sell here is the best in the kingdom, and the pies, which my wife made, are fit for royalty. I don’t want to sell my fine victuals and se them eaten by some dumb chicken. Maybe you and your friends had better get out of here.”

The dwarf just gives him a sad look and replies…

            Another servant who arrived too late to hear it found this joke written out, in the prince’s handwriting. Fortunately for this servant, the punch line was not written down; everyone who was at the scene, including Oskadian, had died writhing in laughter, looks of horrified merriment frozen on their faces. All told, sixteen members of the household died—no one who heard the joke is believed to have survived. Or at least not for long…

            For it is rumored that a chambermaid crawled, laughing, over to an acquaintance’s house and was able to repeat the punchline, without the main body of the joke, before she dropped dead. The local sheriff arrived on the scene, and pieced together what had happened—but a little too late. A roving bard had paid someone for the punchline, and carried it off in written form, not yet knowing the rest of the joke. When the man who had sold it to him heard the joke leading up to the final line, he, too, died.

            Oskadian’s last jest is somewhat famous, though no known living person knows the final line. According to legend, it is out there somewhere, occasionally being discovered—and instantly slaying those who discover it.

New encyclopedia entries

Blistered scrunt

Blistered scrunt is a seafood dish popular in the northeast, particularly in coastal areas of Caldos and Alsetia. There are some variations in preparation, but all consist of fillets of scrunt eel basted in onion sauce and cooked on a grate until the flesh breaks into large white blisters, then served with a sauce made of beer and sardines.

It may be found most of the year, but is most plentiful and popular in the spring, when great schools of scrunt (q.v.) move from deeper waters to the estuaries and lower rivers for spawning.

Scrunt eels

Scrunt eels are creatures of northern seas, and come in three varieties: Black scrunt, great scrunt, and cold scrunt.

Black scrunt, which grow to between two and three feet in length and change from silvery gray to blue-black as they age, are the most numerous. Schools of thousands or even tens of thousands may be found in river estuaries in the spring, during spawning season, though the rest of the year they are somewhat more dispersed in deeper waters. Black scrunt are known for their delicious flesh, and are popularly served as “blistered scrunt” (q.v.)

Great scrunt exist in schools of a dozen or less, but grow up to 15 feet in length.  They have been reported to attack sailors and fishermen they find in the water, and have large knifelike teeth.

Cold scrunt grow to a size slightly smaller than black scrunt, and are just as delicious, but are rarely show up in fishing nets. They live most of the year far out at sea, but in winter they may be found in schools of hundreds migrating up rivers to spawn in the ice.  They are known for their magical abilities to project intense cold to stun prey and ward off predators, and to swim though solid ice as if it were liquid water, at least for short lengths.